How to Become the Calm Mother you Always Wanted to Be

 Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.

Every mum goes through a whole whirlwind of emotions on a daily basis that can leave us feeling exhausted both mentally and physically.  And not just mums - the same can apply to all parents and carers.  The trouble is that when we let our emotions get the better of us, we are not acting in our own best interests or our children's. Yes, children can press our buttons, but it is up to us to rise above and catch ourselves before we yell and possibly make things worse.

There are many ways you can learn to be a calmer person in the face of the chaos that is parenting and nurture new habits. If you can achieve this sort of calm, you will benefit in many ways, such as having a better sense of self-worth and being happier. Your problem-solving skills will improve as a result. 

I definitely want all of these results!  So, how can I become a calmer mum?


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Observe and Learn 

If you want to understand something, then it makes sense to watch it quietly and analytically. This goes for your children too. It helps to watch how your children interact with each other, or play on their own, to gather a true and objective understanding of where they are in their development. Children are meant to be a little unpredictable and throw tantrums. It has nothing to do with you personally as a parent. So you need to detach a little. If you can understand them and where they are, you can better help them in your interactions and, ultimately, their development. 

Time Out

Occasionally it makes sense to tell your children that you need to take ten minutes for yourself. You could sit in the bedroom and turn off any distractions, such as your phone. Maybe developing a meditation technique will help you refocus, recharge, and be better equipped to deal with any problems.  In my experience, taking a few minutes just to sit calmly really helps, perhaps think about things you are grateful for, or just focus on your breathing.  



how-to-become-the-calm-mother-you-always-wanted-to-be



If you are unable to remove yourself from a situation to take time out, I've found it also helps to just take a few deep breaths.  While you're doing whatever you're doing you can focus on a breathing technique, for example counting to three as you breathe in and breathing out to the count of six, or the "box breath" technique which involves counting to four as you breathe in, holding your breath for four, breathing out for four and holding again for four.  These techniques really help to return you to the moment and a calmer, more relaxed state.


I have incorporated meditation into my morning routine every day, almost without fail and it has helped me stay calmer and more positive throughout the day, as well as better controlling my reactions.

How You React

Before you react in a negative way, such as yelling, take a second to view the situation as if you were an outsider. You cannot control the behaviour of those around you directly, but you can control your behaviour. By looking at the situation objectively, you may view it differently, which may give you insight into how to better deal with it. Those few precious seconds may stop the anger boiling over and actually change your own outlook.


Sleep


If you are not getting enough sleep, you can be sure that this is affecting your mental well-being. It may be difficult, but going to bed a little earlier can work wonders. A less fuzzy, clearer head can help you stay more serene.


If you're already sleep deprived then you are likely to be less patient and lose your cool more easily.


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Getting a good night's sleep is perhaps the most important factor that affects our health as a whole, but sometimes it's easier said than done.


Get Rid of Stressors 


Is there anything really bothering you in your life? Are you saying yes to people when you should say no? Overburdening yourself is not conducive to a calm demeanour. You should look to reduce stressors, whatever they may be. Perhaps you have a debt, or maybe you need to get that spouse visa sorted out. There could be so many and various reasons why you are stressed. It is up to you to identify them and begin eliminating them.


How do you stay calm in a stressful situation?  Do you have any tips and advice for being a calmer parent or for reducing stress? 

 I'd love to hear your tips and experiences so leave a comment below!


Photo credits:

Main Pin Photo by Thiago Cerqueira on Unsplash

Breathe Photo by Fabian Møller on Unsplash

Sleep Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash


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